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I Ate Spiders, now i can shoot webs

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Hi! My name is Jim, and I can actually shoot spider webs. Let me tell you all about how this came to happen!
Growing up, I was a massive superhero fanatic. I watched all the movies related to them and read all the comics as well. My favorite one was, without a doubt, Spider-Man. I thought he was the coolest, and I always wondered what it would be like to be able to have his superpowers.
I also identified so much with Peter Parker. He was a geek and had a dry sense of humor in the comics. I loved him so much, and he even had a beautiful girlfriend. I imagined being just like him in every way and hoped I could somehow make this become a reality.
But as I grew up, I began becoming truly obsessed with this idea. Was there a way to change my life around and make it all better? Make myself a real-life spiderman? I began to wonder, to plan different options
It took me a while to actually come up with an idea I thought could work, but eventually, it came to me. What if I began eating spiders? I know how crazy it sounds, but I figured there wouldn’t be anything to lose and a whole lot to win.
After all, if I didn’t get superpowers, I’d simply be eating a few nasty bugs. People all around the world munch on insects and nothing ever happens to them, so I knew it was safe enough. I was obsessed enough to want to try anything and everything to achieve my dream, so I was really determined.
I would go outside and search for spiders at first, munching on every single one I found. At first, it was so disgusting, but it didn’t take long at all to get used to the feeling and taste. After a while, honestly, I began kind of liking it.
But honestly, between school and homework, I didn’t have the time to be searching all over for new spiders to try. I would still grab and eat every single one I managed to find, but I knew there needed to be an easier, faster way to try new species.
So I went online, and since you can basically buy anything online, I quickly found a few websites I could order spiders from.
Boxes began arriving every few days, and I’d eat its content with increasing frustration. Nothing was happening! It simply wasn’t working.
I figured maybe I should search for sketchier providers. Maybe then I’d find the right kind of spider, one that hadn’t been so well tended to in the first place. I ordered from a handful of different sellers and kept on sampling the incoming bugs.
One day, a big package arrived. It was filled with a few spiders from me to choose from, and I was surprised to see that one of them was glowing lightly. Could it be that it was radioactive, just like the one Peter Parker had been bitten by?
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