You might be surprised to hear this, but feeling smothered in love is not an experience that is exclusive to individuals with avoidant attachment, whom I refer to as Rolling stones. Open Hearts, or anxiously attached individuals, can also feel smothered in love. It just expresses itself differently, and its likely they would articulate it using different words.
Feeling “smothered” is a feeling of being trapped, losing your life force energy, and feeling taken over by someone or something else that is out of your control.
If you struggle with any type of insecure attachment style, you know this feeling.
Rolling stones feel trapped by the needs and demands of their partners, because they feel a deep sense of obligation towards them, while also feeling confused by them. They don’t want to be subject to emotional control, and so they’d rather be alone.
Open Hearts feel trapped because they convince themselves that “this one relationship is the best I can do, and I have to find a way to make this work, even if it feels like settling, because otherwise I might die alone and am only worth something when someone wants me.”
Spice of lifers tend to struggle with both of these polarities, at high volume.
And so, if you know this feeling, you are going to want to watch this video clip where I explore the paradox of feeling “smothered” more in-depth, and the two steps you have to take to work through it.
Don’t miss this last installment, I know you’ll love it!
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•AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT 101:
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